I have not posted in a while, and for that I apologize. I know it's quite regular for me not to post, but I have been especially neglectful as of late.
Today, I went to confession with the wonderful African priest named Fr. Aloysius. I love the African priests here because they have a very charismatic nature to them, a wonderful joy for Christ that seems to spread to everyone they come across. However, I think I want to write about what happened before confession.
I came in to the side chapel a good hour before Fr. Aloysius arrived. Umbeknown to us, nobody had told him that he was supposed to do confessions before mass started. So, I was in adoration for an hour before he arrived. God was probably trying to have a 'come to Jesus' talk with me, so I decided to listen. I was returning a book by Mother Angelica called Answers, Not Promises. It's very down to earth, but made me do a lot of self reflection. To pass the time, I read the chapter, "Why is it so hard to be good?"
Basically, Mother Angelica says the answer is simple. Pride makes it hard to be good because it makes us think that we're better than the laws that God gives us to follow. I know that this is definetely a problem for me considering how many habitual sins I have to work on. Friends around me say that I do tend to think highly of myself. So, I spent the time asking God to forgive me of my pride and the damage that I have caused with it. Mother Angelica put in a passage of scripture that really struck me. "For if any one thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. " (Gal 6:3)
I often fall into the trap of thinking I'm more important than I really am. I was reminded that all my successes, everything I own can be taken away from me at God's will. That the source of my pride should not be in how high I can climb the ladder of success, but the simple fact that I am a child of God among children of God.
There is a saying that goes "Don't ask for patience because God will only give you tribulation." But, I always contended that we are made stronger through our suffering, and if suffering is what it takes for us to grow in virtues, then it is completely worth whatever tribulation God can give me so I can become a saint for his kingdom. A physical example might be with me and my brother. Lately, he and I have been trying to exercise regularly and eat right. The exercise hurts the most, especially with a lot of weightlifting after so much lack of exercise. It is a pain to lose so much weight, but I know that the benefits to my life are worth the pain that I have to endure. I won't be putting such a strain on my legs, respiratory and cardiovascular system. I will hopefully avoid the heart disease and diabetes that strikes my family. This monday, I will go and weigh myself and put it on the Healthy Living blog, which hasn't been updated in a while. Maybe I can help rally the troops again.
Perhaps I'm getting a little preachy here, so let me end with a prayer which I might regret.
Lord, help me find the pride in my life, and guide me to be a more humble person who knows that You are the source of everything good in my life. Amen
