I'm Sorry, I'm an Idiot

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So, the other day, I was at a mass where they allow the extraordinary ministers process in with the priest. And I kid you not, there was a woman serving the eucharist wearing a neon green yoga suit. Now, I don't want to point at specks in people's eyes while I have a log in my own, so instead of ranting about this woman and her suit, I will reflect on myself.

What do I owe God if not my very best? I may dress well for mass, and continuously rant against bad music in church, and how the mass isn't following the GIRM, but what good is it if I'm not looking inward and cleaning out the messes and disorders in my life? Is my prayer life strong enough for me to criticize others for picking their nose during the consecration? Can I really talk about the Extraordinary Ministers when I'm not giving my very best at school? Can I talk about respect for the Eucharist when I badmouth my parents behind their backs for some of their strange quirks? I think the answer may be 'no'.

Today, I said some hurtful things to a friend that I really admire. I said these things right after this person had gone out of their way for me in a very special way. And, while I asked for their forgiveness, I still feel remorse for not thinking before saying what I said. And, I think that I need to take some time to reflect on the things in my life that aren't perfect and try to improve them. I know that I'm not the best student, and that my priorities aren't completely straight. I may be trying to lose weight, but I also need to be gaining in my studies. As much as I preach about thinking before speaking, I need to start living it, and try to think what others may think of what I'm saying. Especially when the things I'm saying are unnecessarily hurtful.

To that friend:

I'm sorry for what I said, and I know I apologized already, but I want to say it again. I'm so sorry. I wish I could tell you how crappy I feel right now, and I hope that I didn't leave a bad impression of myself tonight. I'm not a jerk, but I won't blame what I said on a lack of sleep. There's no excuse to be stupid, and I was.

You have been really great to me, even though I feel sometimes that I barely know you. Maybe someday, I'll have the courage to tell you what your friendship means to me without feeling that it would wierd you out. I only ask that you pray for me, because right now, I really need it.

4 Comments

Hey.. I told you,,, it's okay. I should learn to take criticism...Don't worry, I forgot it as soon as I left your driveway. I'll pray for you, but please don't feel so bad about telling me I didn't read the story right, I know I'm not a really good reader. I was just excited about the story and I couldn't wait to share it to everyone. I hope you don't mourn over this anylonger.. You're such a nice person. Don't be so hard on yourself. just focus more on what you need to do than what others might think of what you say.. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT OTHERS THINK as long as God is happy, screw everyone else.

In Christ,
Jill

That's the quote of the week.

"As long as God is happy, screw everyone else."

Caritate Dei Bob! Remember, (and I say this without insult or sarcasm,) we all are not as quick or perceptive as others, such as yourself, may be. I am, however, impressed by your realization that you were at fault. Hence I?m happy for your subsequent apologies and resolve to no longer through stones, when you yourself are NOT without sin, as are we all, myself emphatically included in said category. Hopefully your friend is as forgiving and wonderful as you make them out to be. And good luck.

P.S. You, me, and Cthulhu, tea and crumpets, Thursday at the usual place, don?t be late.
Your friend
- The Adversary

THERE YOU HAVE TWO VALUABLE DISCIPLES OF GOD.
JILL, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ROBERT'S AFFLICTION. IT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT HIM, BUT WITH THE HARM HE BELIEVES TO HAVE INFLICTED ON YOU.
AS A GOOD CHRISTIAN, HE IS HUMBLE AND CARES.
ROBERT, OBVIOUSLY JILL IS A GREAT PERSON AND CHRSITIAN. HER WORDS COME FROM THE LOVE GOD HAS PUT IN HER HEART. WORRY NO MORE.
I CELEBRATE YOUR FRIENDSHIP.

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This page contains a single entry by Robert Diaz, MI published on February 17, 2005 11:27 PM.

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